


Whatever, Forever

by jaebumsus



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied Sexual Content, Jinyoung-Centric, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Recreational Drug Use, Swearing, edgy!jaebum, jinyoung's kinda nervous, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 11:04:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9178780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaebumsus/pseuds/jaebumsus
Summary: jaebum was, and jinyoung wasn't (but he tries to be)





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to get back into creative writing & it's been a while so i figured i could put this out there for some feedback :p if this is decent i may do something chaptered eventually
> 
> *based loosely off of [rock bottom by modern baseball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRYigiDA_jU)  
> **just to clarify, the italic text are jinyoung's thoughts :-)
> 
> edit: guys i met got7 this past weekend my life is officially complete :*)

nothing really forces you to wake from the thirty minutes of sleep you've managed to get mid-finals week quite like the sound of glass shattering on the shitty, hardwood floors common to university dorm rooms, and the loud "fuck!" that follows.

struggling to open his eyes fully because of the near-blinding light streaming in from the worthless curtains, jinyoung decides whatever had happened couldn't possibly be as bad as the anxiety brewing in his stomach in lieu of his upcoming English presentation that he had spent all night preparing for. he agonizingly steps out of his bed and walks into the living area where jackson sits on the floor, visibly upset, glass scattered in front of him.

"what the hell happened in here? you do realize what time it is, right?" jinyoung asks, trying to not let his sleep deprivation and nervous jittering get the best of him.

"i accidentally knocked my bong off the coffee table and totally wasted a perfectly good bowl," jackson groaned as he leans back onto the floor, placing his hands over his face.

"it's seven-fucking-thirty in the morning, why are you awake, let alone smoking already?"

"listen, _jinyoungie_ , there's nothing wrong with an early bird wake and bake. one day you'll understand."

jinyoung rolled his eyes at the boy sitting criss-cross applesauce on the cold floor in nothing but his usual black tank top and duck pajama pants, lighter clutched in one hand that's long since lost it's purpose. he figures it would be best if he helped him clean up the pieces, so he set to walk over and join jackson in painstakingly trying to find every piece glistening across the floor, but ends up stepping directly on the one, stray, razor sharp piece of glass that was once a part of the mouthpiece. he squealed and tossed himself onto the couch in attempt to rid himself of the pain in the center of his right foot, startling jackson in the process, and he comes rushing to his aid instead of vice versa.

"oh shit, why weren't you wearing socks at least?" jackson asked, as he props jinyoung's foot on the headrest of the couch.

"why were you even out here in the first place, you fucking pothead," jinyoung couldn't help but shout, all control he had over his emotions now flooding out of his mouth, any filter that was once holding him back disintegrating like jackson's bong. his mind racing over thoughts of _how will i stand in front of everyone and give this mess of a presentation_ and _goddamnit why wasn't i just wearing socks_.

"alright, alright, fine, i get it. it's my fault," he says, with the slightest intonation of some sort of apology, as he plucks the glass out of jinyoung's foot. "but you know what would definitely make you feel better?"

and with that, jackson reaches into the pocket of his ironically childlike pajama pants and pulls out two kind-of-terribly rolled joints, all with what was possibly the most devious grin that jinyoung had ever seen.

 

—

 

"told you you'd understand," which were the only words jackson could barely manage to wheeze out after taking several hits before handing the joint back to jinyoung, who was sitting opposite him on their tiny couch. both were incredibly stoned and had long forgotten the mess left earlier on the floor by jackson. jinyoung's early morning panic had subsided with each cloud of smoke he exhaled and only seemed to grow sleepier.

on the verge of falling into a deep sleep, jackson nudged jinyoung in the thigh with his foot and asks, "hey wait, didn't you have class today?"

a few seconds passed as the words somehow managed to cut through the heavy smoke in their small room and register in jinyoung's head. the second the word 'class' reached him, the panic reemerged with even greater intensity than before. jinyoung bolted off the couch, momentarily forgetting about his injured foot, and raced to throw on the cleanest jeans from his pile of dirty clothes. he only managed to brush his teeth, ruffle his hair, and spray way too much cologne over his body in hopes of masking the smell. and with that, he ran across campus in attempt to make it to class in time, still high as a kite.

as the world began to spin slower than when he had bolted across the campus lawn, he reached the door of his class and realized he actually had no idea what he was about to say for his presentation. he hesitated, hand hovering over the door handle, not sure if it was the weed or the nervousness restraining him. whichever it was got the best of him, and he started to turn away, prepared to speedwalk back to his dorm, ready to say a big "fuck you" to his English class and the presentation he so cautiously planned out, and ran straight into the chest of what was presumably another student.

jinyoung held his eyes closed as the other student backed away with an "oomf," fearing the ridicule and harsh words he would inevitably receive.

upon hearing close to nothing but his own breathing for a few seconds, jinyoung peeked up to see a man with sleek, black hair and eyes the same shade staring back at him. jinyoung couldn't help but draw in a slightly shaky breath as the man reached out with a hand full of silver rings to steady jinyoung (who was apparently wobbling on his heels,) and asked with a deep, almost apathetic voice, "are you okay?"

these words should not have bothered an average human being, but anyone with two eyes and a sex drive would've had trouble responding, too. plainly stated, the man was gorgeous, a god whom jinyoung wouldn't have necessarily minded worshipping. with his mind yelling _oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck_ on repeat, jinyoung barely managed to squeak out a gravely "y-yeah, sorry, thought this was my classroom," and quickly turned to leave the trail of the beady eyes of whom he then deemed to be Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.

 

—

 

jinyoung somehow returned home uneventfully, except for the fact that his heart was beating unnecessarily fast and he had already forgotten the reason for leaving his dorm in the first place.

"home so soon? how'd it go? you piss yourself?" jackson yelled from the same postion on the couch jinyoung recalls leaving him on, only this time with a mouthful of cereal.

"first of all, fuck you, second of all, i didn't even present. got too fucked up and bailed, then coincidentally ran directly into someone who was probably one of my classmates. if i wasn't still high, i probably would have melted into a nice, piping hot serving of jinyoung soup on the spot because damn, i wouldn't mind running headfirst into his chest again."

jackson snorts (or chokes a little on his cereal, jinyoung can't really tell) and shoots him a slight look of disbelief.

"wow, well what do we have here?" he says, as he sits on his knees to face jinyoung standing across from him, "looks like someone has a little crush, eh?"

jackson winks and jinyoung swears he can taste the bile rising in his throat, or maybe it was just the taste of blood in his mouth from running back and forth around campus so much.

 

—

 

 _finally, i can live in peace_ is the first thing that runs through jinyoung's head as he finishes his last exam, home free for the semester. lucky for him, the missed presentation from a few days earlier didn't result in a big, fat zero for his grade as he swindled his way out of it with a little white lie and the fact that he had already emailed his presentation to his professor. with that in mind, he decides he should treat himself. he walks toward the closest coffee shop to his university and calls jackson as he enters the shop to ask if he wants anything, (let's just say he was feeling extra generous today.)

"hey! jinyoung! what's up?" jackson almost shouts into the phone before jinyoung can even say hello, a little too suspicious for comfort, but not something especially unnerving considering it was jackson wang he was speaking to.

"hey...uh," _this is weird_ , "i just wanted to know if you wanted coffee or something, i was gonna get one before i came back to the dorm,"

"oh, coffee! um...sure! totally, sounds great. thanks jinyoung- wait, stop hold on- really appreciate it! i gotta g-"

"wait, jackson is someone with you? who is that? oh my god...don't tell me you're fucking someone in my bed," jinyoung's voice softens to a kind of whisper-scream, not really wanting anyone to hear him, but also trying to get the severity of his words across to jackson. he blushes as he notices that the woman who is taking his order overheard him and he can barely look in her direction as he orders.

"NO! of course not...not in your bed at least,"

jinyoung sputters slightly at this and can't quite function properly enough anymore to get the words out.

jackson, hearing jinyoung's struggle through the phone, says, "hey, chill out, it's just mark. anyways, i gotta go. i'm kind of busy at the moment," as jinyoung grabs the coffees and shuffles toward the door, hoping to evade every pair of eyes in the cafe.

he pushes open the door and grumbles into his phone, "at least don't leave a mess on the sheets like last time, i always have laundry duty when that happens." it's just his luck that as soon as he ends his sentence, he looks up to see the same pair of beady, black eyes, holding open the door as jinyoung almost launches himself forward into the grass across the sidewalk, coffee and all. the man steadies jinyoung by his shoulders, a gesture all too familiar, and lets out a slight laugh. jinyoung's face goes red in seconds and can only bring himself to look at the face of the man who may as well be his guardian angel with the amount of times he's stopped him from falling over.

"are we gonna do this every time we meet?" he asks with a smirk, and jinyoung can barely force the cogs in his brain to start moving again after turning into mush at the feeling of his hands on his shoulders and that flirty look on his face ( _get it together, jinyoung._ )

"i-i'm not this clumsy all the time, i swear." the man laughs at this and jinyoung can't help but give a small smile in reply.

"can i get your name at least?"

jinyoung's eyes go wide and he hopes the man didn't see the slight panic on his face. if he didn't get out of this situation quick, he was gonna sweat out the entire pacific ocean onto the pavement.

"it's park jinyoung. what's yours?"

the man starts to reopen the door jinyoung just almost flew out of, and says, "im jaebum. maybe next time i see you, it won't start with me having to stop you from tripping over your own feet."

the comment, slightly harsh, caught jinyoung off guard. it wasn't necessarily the harshness, but the potential interest jaebum had showed at seeing jinyoung again. jinyoung's heart palpitates and he forces his legs to move ( _left, right, left, right_ ) as he walks back to his dorm on autopilot, coffee in one hand and phone in the other, forgetting that he was even on the phone with jackson in the first place.

 

-

 

jinyoung returns home, hoping jackson and mark were long finished with whatever they were doing in their dorm. upon opening the front door, he initially spots mark on the floor cleaning up the glass that still remained from jackson's mishap earlier that morning, and sees a sleeping jackson on the couch behind him.

"hey! how's it going, jinyoung?" mark asks, plastering a smile on his face that makes jinyoung see stars (quit it, jinyoung, he's your best friend's boyfriend.)

"could be worse, i guess. i brought coffee for jackson," _he probably knows that already, jinyoung, you called while jackson was probably balls d-_ "but seeing as he's unconscious, do you want it?"

"sure! thanks, jinyoungie," jinyoung walks over to mark and hands him the drink, sitting next to him on the floor, sweeping some of the glass in a pile with his shoe.

"hey you look like you just ran a marathon, are you okay? did you see a ghost? i didn't think i was that pale..." mark asks with a concerned look on his face as he sips the drink intended for his boyfriend.

"wha- yeah! i think...well," _what are you getting yourself into_ , "thing is...there was this one nice looking guy i accidentally ran into leaving my english class the other day, and i kinda almost tripped leaving the cafe as i was, uh...telling jackson not to get cum all over the sheets, and he uh...happened to be standing there..."

mark almost spit out the coffee onto jinyoung as he starts laughing at what he just told him. jinyoung can't help but feel kinda embarrassed and resorts to sweeping more glass into a pile with his shoe to distract himself.

"jinyoung, thats incredible, honestly. did he see you? did he say anything to you?"

"of course he saw me, i went fifty miles per hour out of the door and he had to grab onto me to stop me from face planting into the concrete. he asked me my name and then uh, said he hoped to see me again and maybe that uh, next time he won't have to stop me from making an idiot out of myself..."

mark raised both arms as if he had just won the lottery and set his drink down on the coffee table. he sat up on his knees and leaned forward in the slightest, and said, "JINYOUNG! oh my goodness, please tell me you know his name. what does he look like, tell me every single detail." mark seemed more like an excited schoolgirl rather than a 20 year old man.

"um, well he has black hair and his eyes are really dark, too. and he has two moles above his eye and it makes him look more intimidating than he already does. he has really nice hands and he wears a lot of rings. oh, and his name is im jaebum." jinyoung doesn't think he's ever said anything with such speed as he did that string of sentences. mark's eyes light up and he opens his mouth to laugh a hearty laugh and jinyoung is too emotionally confused to know for certain what was going on anymore.

"you've gotta be kidding me, jaebum is my roommate! how did you not know that? i swear you must've met before," mark said, and returned to sipping on the drink calmly.

jinyoung swears his life flashes before his eyes and he can feel the heat rising on his face at an alarming speed at having just confessed to being interested in (being in love with, more like) mark's roommate. he can't think of anything else to do but lay on the hard floor and rethink his life choices and all of his mistakes. a groggy jackson sits up and says, "hey, i didn't know the hot guy was jaebum. i could've introduced you guys, you know, instead of just letting you run into him repeatedly, and literally, for that matter."

jinyoung groaned and grabbed a pillow from beneath jackson's feet and placed it over his head, wishing the world would disappear like how the light from the kitchen windows did under the pillow.

"speaking of roommates," _oh god, what now,_ "yugyeom said bambam was gonna have a party tomorrow night, to celebrate the end of finals week and all. you wanna go with us, jinyoung?"

if there was one thing to know about park jinyoung, it was that any college party was a no-go if pre-gaming wasn't in the plans. any one of these parties he deemed to be too unbearable if there wasn't the slightest bit of alcohol in his system to help ease him through the awkward introductions and the five minutes spent wandering to find the booze.

"jaebum will be there!" mark said, hoping to encourage jinyoung a little more.

and right there was the kicker for jinyoung, ( _i still need at least two vodka shots before leaving, though._ )

jinyoung lifted the pillow off his face and turned flat on his back, letting out a sigh, and giving mark a quiet "i guess..."

 

-

 

jinyoung spent approximately the next twenty four hours worrying about the party he was going to have to attend. he wondered if he actually tried to work out, he could lose ten pounds by the time the party rolled around, ( _that's not how it works, jinyoung. sadly..._ ) in the midst of picking out his outfit, mark walked into his room, startling him as he realized he had spent at least two hours pacing and rearranging his entire wardrobe (he kinda had a knack for zoning out long enough to lose all track of time.)

"woah, someone's quite the stunner!" mark said as he walked next to jinyoung, looking at him in his mirror and crossing his arms.

"i guess...took me long enough to even find pants that didn't look like i should be an eighty year old man on his way to bingo." jinyoung would really rather not go to the shops and have to make the effort in responding to the employee's question of if he was finding everything okay. he managed to dig out a ripped pair of jeans he didn't know he had, not even knowing if the holes were from moths or not, but he thought the black-on-black ensemble offset his lack of a personality well enough that he might be able to make it through the night.

"well," mark said, as he turned slightly towards jinyoung, "with that ass, i don't think anyone would really focus much on your pants, but rather what's in them, if you know what i'm saying." mark stuck out his tongue and slapped jinyoung's ass, catching jinyoung off guard as he stumbled forward slightly. luckily for jinyoung, mark leaves the room without turning to see the blush overwhelming his pale face. he takes one last look at himself in the mirror before he hears mark shout from outside the room, "alright then! whiskey shots it is!"

 

-

 

jinyoung stood quietly behind mark and jackson as mark knocked on the door to what was presumably bambam and yugyeom's apartment. he could hear the music blasting loudly through the door frame, the smell of drugs and cigarettes seeping from underneath it. the shots they took before leaving dampened jinyoung's nerves and soon enough, someone opened the door, smoke exiting as they all entered. jinyoung worked his way around the insanely large group of people jammed in the rather small dorm, keeping his eyes peeled for any kind of alcohol.

he spotted large glasses of some type of beer, what looked like vodka, and a bowl of punch, ( _listen, i may be slightly intoxicated, but i'm not that stupid yet to know that that's probably spiked,_ ) deciding that vodka was the quickest way to total inebriation. jinyoung pours himself a large cup of straight vodka, intending to find a coke somewhere to mix it with, but is stopped in his tracks as his eyes meet those of jaebum's, who is leaning quietly against the wall in front of him.

jinyoung freezes, not sure what to do, as jaebum eyes him up and down. jinyoung takes two large gulps of what may as well be rubbing alcohol, making his eyes water slightly, before shouting a "long time, no see" to jaebum over the music. jaebum gives him a smirk and says, "hey, i'm glad this time i didn't have to save you from tripping on your shoelaces."

jinyoung truly is smitten as jaebum's smooth voice drifts between them, hoping the warmth he feels on his face is just an effect of the alcohol and not his emotions giving him away. he forgets he's even staring when jaebum smirks and says, "are you drinking straight vodka? didn't think you were the type, jinyoung."

jinyoung snaps out of his daze and tries desperately to respond without imploding on the spot, ( _STAY! COOL! JINYOUNG!_ ) jinyoung's eyes wander and his words stumble out in um's and oh's as he tries to not make an ass of himself, the heat in his face and neck growing hotter by the second.

"w-well, it wasn't initially gonna be just this, i mean, i meant to find coke or something, but then you kinda-"

"i kinda what? did i distract you?" jaebum says, almost condescendingly, the same smirk still stuck to his face as he drinks from his own cup and leans forward in the slightest to be level with jinyoung's face. jinyoung felt he was being analyzed under the microscope that were jaebum's piercing eyes and the tension that arose was making him more embarrassed than he already was.

jinyoung's eyes return to their previous flickering as he scrambles to find a response. he watches as jaebum tilts his head back, downing the drink in his hand, before he whispers to him, "wanna head upstairs?"

jinyoung only manages to nod and set his drink on the edge of the kitchen table before he's pulled around the corner and up a flight of stairs by jaebum. if jinyoung was speechless before, his mind truly was blank as his body moved on autopilot, following jaebum's quick steps.

"where are we going?" jinyoung asked as he continued to walk through the darkness, but his question was soon answered when jaebum opened a door and pulled jinyoung through, only to turn around and cage him into the wall. jinyoung's heart beat faster, pounding on his ribcage as if it was asking to leave, his breathing turning into open mouthed pants, a mix of anticipation and anxiety, ( _holy shit, how did this even happen, all i did was run into him a couple times._ ) jaebum kept his eyes lowered on jinyoung as he pressed his body into the latter's, causing a quiet gasp to escape his mouth. jaebum smirked and bowed his head closer to jinyoung's, almost growling as he says, "i want to get to know you better, jinyoungie, with the amount of times you've fallen into my arms and all..."

jaebum moved his hand to grip onto the nape of jinyoung's neck, letting his thumb stroke over his jawline, using the leverage to tilt his head up slightly.

"i can't keep having you turn and walk away from me, though i'll admit the view is pretty great." he smirks and jinyoung's heart skips a beat as he decides he's a little too weak to continue this one-sided conversation and uses whatever ounce of courage he had hidden somewhere inside him to push himself upwards and close the distance between their lips.

jaebum groans into jinyoung's mouth and steps back slightly as his other hand leaves the wall to grab onto jinyoung's waist. their kisses are quick and wet, tongues tasting each other and the alcohol from earlier. jinyoung keeps them moving backwards until they crash into the bed ( _i'm so sorry to whoever's bed this is for what's about to happen._ ) jinyoung's legs find themselves straddled around jaebum's waist, the latter's hands now roaming up and down his thighs, occasionally squeezing his ass, causing jinyoung to yelp into his mouth as he involuntarily grinds his body downward. jaebum groaned at the sensation and pulled on jinyoung's lower lip with his teeth.

jinyoung feels as if he's floating, lust clouding the nervousness and any aspect of self-awareness he previously had. jaebum broke the kiss for a moment and sat up, jinyoung now sitting with his ass pressed flush against his lap. he lifted his shirt up and jinyoung was seconds from letting his hands wander across his toned torso when someone burst into the room.

jaebum let his shirt down as jinyoung shrieked and clambered back off of jaebum's lap, accidentally exposing them both as being embarrassingly hard. mark, who had thrust open the door in the first place, exaggeratedly covered his eyes and backed slightly out of the door frame.

"woah, woah, didn't expect this," he said, returning his arms to his sides, his tone now hinting to jinyoung that he was pretty drunk, "i'm so glad you and jaebummie have gotten acquainted! i've been looking all over for you! can we go get some ice cream?" he shot him that whirlwind of a smile that punches jinyoung in the gut every time and he knew he couldn't leave him hanging.

jinyoung stumbled off the bed that he didn't notice was pretty rickety, cheeks red from a mix of arousal and embarrassment. he turned to jaebum and let out a quiet "i-i gotta go," and proceed to unglue mark from his slumped over grip on the door. mark latched his arms around jinyoung's shoulders instead as jaebum sat on the edge of the bed and straightened his clothes. jinyoung turned his head slightly to give jaebum what would probably be the most awkward goodbye of his life (for jinyoung, at least) but jaebum beat him to it with that signature smirk plastered to his face and a "i hope to see you again, _jinyoungie._ "

jinyoung mustered up an embarrassed smile and walked mark out as fast as he possibly could, thinking about his naked grandma in hopes to avoid anyone seeing the redness creeping up his face and his dick hard in his jeans. what he forgot, though, was that mark was still in fact stuck to his side, and was still (slightly) coherent.

"jinyoung~ i didn't really think i would've walked in on you getting fucked tonight, especially not by jaebum..." mark's slurred words rested in the crook of jinyoung's neck, and even though he hoped mark would've forgotten the incident as soon as it happened, he was thankful enough that mark kept his voice down. he kept a straight face as he wound through the crowd of bodies in the apartment, eyes peeking over the many heads searching for the door. he spotted his destination and mapped out a straight shot there when mark grabbed jackson by the shoulder and stopped any movement from jinyoung in the process.

"baby, me and jinyoung are gonna go get some ice cream, come with us!" he whined as jackson was stopped mid-conversation with some of the other guests whom jinyoung had never seen before. jackson shot him a smile and turned back to whomever he was talking to, giving a wave before wrapping his arms around mark's waist, making him giggle as they continued on to their exit. jinyoung smiled to himself, seeing his friends happy together. even if there was alcohol involved, he couldn't help but feel pangs of jealousy at the ease and stability in their relationship.

_i just gotta get out of here._

 

 

—

 

jinyoung spent the next few days deliberately avoiding mark hoping he wouldn't bring up jaebum or the events that occurred anytime in the near future. he spent as much time as possible out of his dorm, sitting in coffee shops watching netflix for hours if he needed. his plan was working out pretty nicely until one night, deciding it was a reasonably late time of night to return home safely, that mark happened to be leaving the dorm at the same time he was entering.

jinyoung just about burst, laptop in one hand, cold coffee in the other, not really sure what to say to the man standing in front of him. he whimpered out a quiet "h-hi" as mark pulled on his socks and duck slippers, ( _his slippers match jackson's pants, how cute._ )

"jinyoung! where you been man? haven't seen you around lately, i needed to talk to you."

'i need to talk to you' is not a phrase that invokes any feeling of comfort or ease, and jinyoung decided if this went on any further he would blame his i-need-to-leave-immediately mood on a migraine and call it a night.

"uh...yeah i've just been taking advantage of the break, i guess. is it important? i-i mean, i have a headache and i really would like to sleep it off," jinyoung spewed, trying to avoid the dreaded recollection of his almost one night stand.

"no, no, i just needed to ask a favor," oh god, "can you help me bring this box up to my room? i would've asked jackson but he's already sleeping."

"oh, of course! sure, mark"

relieved, jinyoung obliged and set his things on his bed, before returning to the hall where mark awaited with the box. jinyoung's learned his lesson on asking what his friends received in the mail, taking last time into account, ( _how can that even fit in someones ass._ )

"alright, we only gotta take this up two floors, so it shouldn't be too bad," mark said as they began shuffling through the halls and up the dorm stairwell. the box was surprisingly heavy and smelled kind of odd, but he knows better than to ask and instead just quirks an eyebrow. they're both breathing rather hard as they reach mark's floor and arrive in front of his door, leaving it on the floor in front of the entrance as they stand winded.

they catch their breath and mark goes to unlock his door, pressing it open as he helps jinyoung slide it through the doorframe. jinyoung hears a rustling sound and the lights suddenly turn on, the scene unknowingly happening in front of him unfolding under the shitty, yellow glow of the light.

lying on the couch is jaebum and who jinyoung recognizes to be one of the people jackson was talking to as they left the party. he lets his eyes linger for far longer than he wanted as hurt panged through his chest. he turned his head away, trying to keep the disgusted look on his face to a minimum as mark says, "hey there, didn't know we were expecting guests tonight!"

he sees jaebum push the guy off of him as he moves to sit up, looking at jinyoung before jinyoung gives a sombre "well, i'll see you later, my head still hurts. goodnight, mark." he walked back out the door, rubbing the back of his neck as he followed the hall to the stairs leading down to his dorm.

this time, though, he wasn't lying about the headache.

 

-

 

all warm feelings for jaebum dwindled as the hurt jinyoung felt grew stronger. it wasn't like they were _dating_ , but jinyoung couldn't help but feel rejected. he did hope it would gradually become exclusive, though. he thought of all the teasing words and shared kisses as if jaebum had written his name on his skin and marked him as his, staking his claim over him. he wondered if it was something he had done, or maybe jaebum just thought of him as a quick fuck. either way, it stung when jackson asked him if he was okay, hearing from mark the series of events that had occurred. jinyoung lied and said yes, not wanting anything more to come from it, but he realized jackson was only being cautious as mark's birthday party was later that week and he knew jaebum would be there.

jinyoung decided after downing a cheap beer he found in the fridge, ( _you're not letting this turn you into a day drinker, jinyoung,_ ) that he was just gonna suck it up because he's better than this and there's no way in hell he wouldn't attend mark's party, the thought of seeing the rejection and sadness on his face scary enough as it is.

he threw away the empty bottle as mark and jackson walked through the door hand in hand, laughing about something jackson had said. jinyoung admired them quietly and sat down on the couch, set on reading a book his mother had sent him in the post.

"hey, jinyoung," jackson said, voice still giggly as he shrugged off his jacket. mark walked over to the couch where jinyoung was splayed across it and sat himself underneath the length of jinyoung's legs. his fingers tapped rhythms on jinyoung's calves as he said something to jackson, jinyoung smiling to himself at his small but adorable actions, their happy mood clearly being contagious. he sat the book on the coffee table, instead proposing they all play a game of mario kart, ( _no point in wallowing in my own pity, i guess._ )

their giggles and shouts about who was winning echoed throughout the tiny dorm, and for once jinyoung thought he could be happy simply with this.

 

-

 

jinyoung was actually enjoying himself at mark's party, held in his own dorm room, and lucky enough for jinyoung, jaebum hadn't showed up. he laughed with his friends about whatever they were talking about, the bottles and cups littering tables and the floors growing in number by the hour. jinyoung decided to let his filter go for one night and he was on his fifth drink as they settled around the coffee table playing never have i ever. mark was practically on jackson's lap, his laugh lighting up the room as silly and risqué questions shot back and forth across the table. jinyoung was sitting across from them with bambam, yugyeom, and someone named youngjae (whom he recognized as the other man on the couch with jaebum several nights before,) surrounding him.

"okay, my turn," yugyeom said, sitting up nice and tall, his black hair contrasting the pale skin of his face, "never have i ever- had a one night stand."

everyone giggled as they looked around to see if anyone had put down a finger. mark, bambam, and youngjae did, and jinyoung's cheeks turned a light pink recalling the last party he had been to. he was shaken out of his quiet daze when jackson said, "hey! jinyoung! i thought you and jaebum, ya know, that one night..." he was smiling and jinyoung's drunk brain swirled to answer him without blatantly saying no.

he was sputtering as mark laughed as jackson held him closer, all of their eyes fixated on him for an answer. he was about to give a "not really," when he was interrupted by a voice sounding from the area behind him.

"almost," the voice said, and immediately everyone's eyes darted to the figure jinyoung could feel looming behind him. the deep, apathetic voice which he had come to know so well, could've only belonged to one person, but jinyoung looked up behind him as if he was clueless.

there he met those dark, beady eyes staring down at him, jaebum's face holding a smirk which was hidden behind the cup pulled up to his lips. mark yelled out a "jaebummie!" as yugyeom scooted further away from jinyoung, giving jaebum enough space to sit down next to him. jinyoung's eyes trailed his movements and despite the alcohol raging through his veins, he was nervous as hell and not sure what to say. he was surprised at the lack of tension emanating from jaebum, as if nothing had happened between them, or at least that he wasn't bothered by it.

"anyways, where were we? who's turn is it now?" jaebum said, setting his drink on the table. his eyes met jinyoung's again as jinyoung realized he'd been staring, and he looked back down into the drink in his lap, taking a large gulp before mark said, "it's my turn!"

they played for a while longer as more secrets had been revealed between the group, gasps and laughs exchanged from all around the table. the game was starting to dwindle as creativity was lost in the bottles of alcohol and jackson saved the mood by standing up and yelling, "cake time!" which had garnered cheers from the others. everyone had began to stand and walk towards the kitchen, but jinyoung was stopped in his tracks by jaebum whispering a "i need a smoke, come with me?" into his ear, one hand snaked around his waist.

not sure what to say, jinyoung just obliged, ( _fuck my stupid, drunk brain,_ ) and followed jaebum quickly onto the dorm balcony. it was a tad cold out and jinyoung crossed his arms into his chest, not too sure what to expect. jaebum said nothing as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before pressing one between his lips and lighting it. jinyoung was mesmerized in the way the smoke exited his lips and the way jaebum seemed to relax because of it, the orange glow making his face seem even sharper and more intimidating. jinyoung was pulled from his thoughts at jaebum taking it from his lips and offering it to him. he hesitated but said yes nonetheless, taking a long drag before handing it back.

the nicotine now surging in him alongside the alcohol calmed him as he said, "why did you bring me with you out here? they're waiting for us inside."

jaebum inhaled a second time and looked down at his feet, shuffling them almost uncomfortably.

"the other night, with youngjae, i hope you're not mad at me..." oh god, "listen, i didn't think you were interested. after you left, i didn't see you again, and i even asked mark about you. he said you never mentioned anything to him, so i figured it was just a one time thing. please just tell me you don't hate me."

jinyoung was taken aback from the uncharacteristic words flowing from jaebum's mouth like the smoke he had just exhaled. he struggled to get his words out in coherent sentences ( _why did i drink so much_ ,) and barely manages to say, "well, i-i thought you didn't like me, and i thought you thought it was a one time thing." he was visibly shaky at this point, not knowing if it was the cold or his emotions or both.

jaebum looked at him with wide eyes and let out a breathy laugh and smiled off into the city beyond the balcony. he took one last drag before putting out his cigarette on the railing, before turning to jinyoung and saying, "guess we both were wrong," as he closed the gap between them, their faces now only inches apart, "and for the record, i really, _really_ like you. i just wasn't sure if you felt the same way. forgive me, darling."

jinyoung subconsciously accepted his apology as jaebum laced his arms around his waist and pulled him closer, letting their lips meld together. they both tasted of cigarettes and jinyoung thought to himself that that was probably the only similarity between them. jinyoung ran his fingers through jaebum's hair, deepening the kiss as it grew hotter against the cold air of the night around them. jaebum's hands began to slide down to grip jinyoung's ass, but he was stopped by the door next to them flying open, and a giggly jackson asking if they were ever gonna join them for cake, ( _fucking again._ )

jinyoung jumped backwards, wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve and nodded, giving jackson a raspy "y-yeah, was just about to come in," before giving jaebum a look of innocence as he followed the blonde haired boy inside.

they sang for mark, all gathered around the cake in the kitchen, and jinyoung learned jaebum had a beautiful singing voice. the party dwindled down to just jinyoung, mark, jackson, and jaebum as the night went on. mark and jackson settled on the sofa chair, mark straddling jackson as they giggled about nothing and everything in particular, with jinyoung and jaebum sat on the couch next to each other. a smile crept up jinyoung's face as the haze of alcohol clouding his brain briefly lifted as he took in his surroundings. his closest friends happy in love on one hand, and his own relationship blossoming on the other. for the first time in a while, he felt content; the world could end tomorrow and he wouldn't have a problem with it.

"what's got you so happy over there, _jinyoungie_ ," jaebum asked, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow.

jinyoung left his daze, smile dropping slightly, giving him a "nothing," and lifted his legs off of jaebum.

he's stopped as he stands up off the couch, jaebum's hand gripping his wrist lightly.

"are you leaving?" jaebum asks, his expression mirroring the slightly sad tone of his voice. jinyoung stops for a moment and looks at his friends across the room from him, mark's body cradled in jackson's arms, and turns back to his boyfriend sitting next to him. the smile returns to its previous setting on his lips as he slides his hand into jaebum's, squeezing it in the slightest. he leans down and catches jaebum in a kiss that he wasn't expecting, but smiles and softens into it anyways.

"of course not."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! the end may be kinda cheesy but if you have any thoughts let me know! i tried to edit but grammar isn't really one of my strong points lol oh well.. if this turns out well expect something else in the future !!


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